Check out my pitch here!
Reflection of feedback: Based on the feedback that I received, I was able to pinpoint some things that I conveyed well and others that could use improvement. For instance, the feedback regarding how I explained by problem/solution was overwhelmingly positive! This was good to hear because clarifying the problem/solution was one of the main things that I had focused on improving from the first elevator pitch to the second elevator pitch. Additionally, I received affirming feedback on my hook which was created to establish pathos with students and their parents who may deal with housing issues. In terms of improvement, the consensus was to improve my delivery.
What I changed, based on feedback: I practiced my pitch a few times before recording. This allowed me to reduce my stammering and finish my pitch strong (i.e. without mumbling). I also was wearing business professional like in my previous pitches but put on a jacket (because I was cold and really sick), but it ended up adding to my pitch because it is a Warrington Diplomat jacket. Who better to pitch a UF-sponsored service than a diplomat herself (woo, social capital)? Go Gators!
Reflection of feedback: Based on the feedback that I received, I was able to pinpoint some things that I conveyed well and others that could use improvement. For instance, the feedback regarding how I explained by problem/solution was overwhelmingly positive! This was good to hear because clarifying the problem/solution was one of the main things that I had focused on improving from the first elevator pitch to the second elevator pitch. Additionally, I received affirming feedback on my hook which was created to establish pathos with students and their parents who may deal with housing issues. In terms of improvement, the consensus was to improve my delivery.
What I changed, based on feedback: I practiced my pitch a few times before recording. This allowed me to reduce my stammering and finish my pitch strong (i.e. without mumbling). I also was wearing business professional like in my previous pitches but put on a jacket (because I was cold and really sick), but it ended up adding to my pitch because it is a Warrington Diplomat jacket. Who better to pitch a UF-sponsored service than a diplomat herself (woo, social capital)? Go Gators!
Hey Izzy, great job with your pitch! I can tell you rehearsed and agree that you've done a great job with the hook and closing statement. This is definitely a problem that needs to be solved in Gainesville and I'd be interested in hearing how your pricing would work. Great details on off campus housing too, a large percentage like those students living off campus shows potential for a large market.
ReplyDeleteIzzy,
ReplyDeleteI'm still obsessed with your idea. I'm also still stressed about what I'm going to do for a week in the summer. You spoke very clearly and slowly, which really makes a huge difference for the viewer. It also shows how much you've practiced and how determined you are to have a great pitch. Good job!